I have a cold.
As colds go, it’s a pretty miserable one. Headache, sore throat, coughing, sneezing, the works. Right now, there is a jumbo ball of snot in the back of my throat that refuses to go up or down, and so it just sits there, making me gag. Which makes me cough.
Some of you men or younger women may not get this, but sometimes we ladies have an added bonus that takes place when we cough or sneeze. In my case, let’s just say it involves my having given birth to three ten-pound babies over the past fifteen years.
There’s a reason why mothers always seem to cross our legs when we laugh or cough. As my friend Lori likes to say, “I sometimes laugh so hard, the tears run right down my leg!”
So I’m sitting here with various bodily fluids escaping from various places, coughing up everything but my left lung, and I have decided to give myself the day off.
I am a stay-home mom. When I am sick, I still have to work. Laundry must be done, dishes must be washed, dinner must be prepared. Even when I don’t feel good, I have to drag myself through the day, whining and wallowing in self-pity about being so overworked and underappreciated. I jump on Facebook to whine some more, squeezing every possible ounce of pity out of my friends, and then I haul my sorry saggy ass through more chores.
Not today. Although I do have to take a moment to veer off on a tangent for a moment about Facebook. Folks, if you feel good enough to get on Facebook and announce to the world that you have a Migraine, you don’t have a Migraine.
People who work outside of the home are allowed to take sick days. So I’m taking one. This stay-home Mama is off the clock for the rest of the day. I’m back in my jammies, on the couch with the Big Guy’s favorite afghan (hey, I’m not getting any assorted fluids on my favorite afghan!) and a big mug of hot Echinacea tea. It’s noon, and I’ve already taken two naps.
I’m allowed to take a sick day.
Besides, I think I just sneezed up part of my spleen. Which is probably going to give me a Migraine.