I have learned some valuable life lessons over the past few weeks, and since I have been unable to post anything here during that time, it seems like a good time to share what I’ve learned.
1. The flu sucks. It’s not just a tummy bug or a bit of a chest cold; it’s a nasty, down-and-out, flat-on-my-back, I’d-almost-rather-be-dead kind of thing. I could never understand how people die during influenza outbreaks. Now, I understand. Other than the months I spent recuperating from a broken neck, I can honestly say that I have never been knocked out by anything for so long.
2. Folks, get your flu shots. Period.
3. Netflix and illness are not a productive combination for me. I have spent the past three weeks soaking up everything from Sherlock to Coupling to Dr. Who (sue me, I have a thing for Stephen Moffat) to Emergency. I couldn’t sit up and breathe long enough to do anything else anyway.
4. I could get used to being a couch potato.
5. Mommy takes care of everyone else when they are sick, but loved ones have absolutely no sympathy or patience when Mommy is the sick one. Okay, that’s not a new life lesson. I learned it the day after giving birth to my first child, when my mother-in-law told me to let the Big Guy nap because he’d been through so much.
Apparently, having his hand squeezed by me for sixteen hours was more traumatic than my pushing out a two foot tall, ten-pound human being while learning the definition of the term “dry birth”.
Not that I’m still bitter about that.
As a kid watching Emergency with my family, I adored Roy DeSoto. Everyone else crushed on Johnny Gage, but not me. No, I loved Roy’s steadfast calm, his sparkling blue eyes, his bashful little smile. I giggled over his wry sense of humor and his quiet charm. In fact, my husband is more Roy than Johnny.
But now . . . okay, I’ll say it: Randolph Mantooth has just aged better than Kevin Tighe. They may be nearing seventy, but I don’t care. If Randolph Mantooth ever comes to Michigan looking for a middle-aged, overweight, crooked-spined mother of three, I will be ready for him.
7. I really need a better hobby. One that doesn’t involve fantasies about Randolph Mantooth.