If . . . Then

Okay, boys and girls, it’s time for Mama A.J.’s Words of Wisdom (aka Ten Things That Are Pissing Me Off).

  1. If you call in sick but feel good enough to spend your day on Facebook talking about how sick you are, then shut up and go to work.
  2. If you can drive yourself to the ER to get shots of pain meds for your Migraine, then chances are good that you don’t really need the shots.
  3. If you get Disability for a “bad back” but get cash for doing roofing jobs “on the side”, then you are slime.
  4. If you get Disability for Narcolepsy but can still get a Driver’s License, then our system is totally screwed up.
  5. If you get Food Stamps and WIC but can afford $300 extensions and bi-weekly gel manicures, then we have a problem.
  6. If you have lost a lot of weight and you feel the need to whine and wheeze about how hard life is now that you are skinny, then shut the hell up and eat a damn cheeseburger.
  7. If you bitch about your employer and co-workers on Facebook and you are surprised when you get fired for it, then you are an idiot.
  8. If you use social media to make public announcements about private matters, then you forfeit the right to tell anyone to mind their own business.
  9. If you post your writing on a public site and bawl like a little baby the instant someone doesn’t praise you, then don’t post your work on a public site.  Hang it on your mommy’s refrigerator and get a new pacifier.
  10. If you can’t remember the last time you said something that wasn’t a complaint, then suck it up, Snowflake.  We’re tired of hearing it.
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2 thoughts on “If . . . Then

  1. Ha! I agree with all but #1. I think there’s a lot of room between being too sick to go to work and too sick to be on Facebook, especially if your job involves physical labor. Even if it’s a desk job, a lot of employers are moving toward asking their employees to PLEASE stay home and not infect everyone else. With the section of a stomach virus (I loathe stomach viruses) I have trouble imagining something bad enough to keep me off the computer (or reading, watching TV, etc.) that didn’t require an ER visit. I might feel differently if I had ever suffered through a severe migraine. i thought the ones I had when I was pregnant were awful, but I know they’re nowhere near what some people deal with. 😉

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    • Good points. But you know the ones I’m talking about — the ones who post twenty different statuses in a day, all moaning “I’m so sick, pity me!” If you’re THAT sick, go to a doctor or lie down.

      And I know what you mean about Migraines. Mine make me vomit and sit in a dark room for days., and I know there are people with far worse. But if they are THAT bad, how do they drive to ER, get a shot, drive home, and then sit down at the computer to tell the world how bad it still is?

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