I thought it would get easier.
I always believed that all I had to do was write that first book. Get the first one done, and the next one would be easier. Less fear each time, less details to worry about, more fun once I knew what to expect. Sort of like losing my virginity, only without any cheesy Michael Bolton ballads playing in the background.
That’s not how it’s working out for me. His Heart Aflame has been a bit of a bear to write. I feel like a kid throwing homework excuses at the teacher, but here’s why I’ve struggled with my second book:
- I’ve learned so much from self-publishing my first book. I can see things that I did wrong with Her House Divided, and I don’t want to make those same mistakes this time.
- Along those same lines, I realize that my first book was pretty simple. I want this one to be more complex, with a couple of subplots and more well-defined characters. Threw in a couple of burning buildings and an extremely energetic sex scene on the beach, just to spice things up a tad. I’m scared I’m not up to challenge.
- My first book was drawn from my own experiences, created out of a bunch of “what ifs” as I recovered from a broken neck. It was a work of fiction, but it was also a huge part of my healing process. My second book is drawn completely from my imagination. Made from scratch, you could say.
- I designed my own cover the first time around, and it sucked. The amazing and incredibly talented Jessica Richardson took pity on me and provided a much better cover. I hired her this time (and will for every book I write in the future as well), which meant I had to take the time to select a cover, work with her, and stress about whether I could afford her or not. This time around, the e-book and paperback will have the same cover, thanks to Jessica.
- For a long time, I just didn’t like my heroine, Maggie. I wanted her to be sort of clumsy and hapless and unlucky, but I felt like I wasn’t getting to “know” her well enough to write about her. Then my sister suggested the name “Maeve” for Maggie’s alter-ego in the subplot, and everything fell into place.
- I wrote my first romance novel as a married woman. Sure, I knew my marriage was going through a rough patch; I just didn’t realize it was ending. I’ve written this second romance novel as a middle-aged divorcee who has lost her faith in Happily Ever After. I keep wanting to re-write the ending to send Sean and Maggie off in separate ways with a handshake and an agreement to behave like adults.
- I didn’t tell anyone I was going to self-publish my first book. I just sort of threw it at the world and ran the other direction. If I failed, I failed. I’ve got to be honest – I never really thought anyone outside of my friends and family would buy it. Now, people are waiting for the sequel. Asking about it. Looking forward to it. Good Lord, I’m an author now, not just an unemployed hairdresser tapping away at the keyboard. That’s scary as hell.
- I’m at a different place in my life from a religious standpoint. This one is a biggie. God has always been so important to me, but I have really felt His hand guiding me in recent months. I find myself questioning whether or not I’m okay including sex scenes in my books, or if I need to take a shot at writing something more “squeaky clean.” Maybe it’s time to write something more spiritual. I’m so confused.
excuses difficulties, I have finally finished His Heart Aflame. Three days after I reached this point with my first book, my husband and I decided to get a divorce. After that, I couldn’t stand to look at the book again, and I rushed into self-publishing without any further edits. And it showed.
I won’t make that mistake this time. My second book is going out later this week to two trusted friends – trusted friends who are both smart and brutally honest. My final round of edits will take place after I get their feedback, so I’m hoping to release His Heart Aflame some time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. I wish I could narrow down the exact date, but I just don’t want to promise anything that I may not deliver.
In the meantime, I plan on sharing the first chapter here in my blog, just to build some excitement. I’ve temporarily dropped my price on Her House Divided to get it out into more hands. And now, just because I can, I’m also going to do a little cover reveal.