Coffee Time

coffee2

If we were having coffee, I’d start by apologizing for the mess in my kitchen. I’d pull out the mismatched cups from the cupboard and haul out the giant canister of sugar for you, since I’m just not the type to keep sugar in a dainty little sugar bowl. That’s all right, though, because I’d have to offer you the entire gallon jug of milk since I’m not big on using the dainty little cream pitcher, either.

I take my coffee black for a reason.

Let me tell you about my week, because it’s been an emotional one. My oldest child graduated from high school at the end of last week, and this week has been all about adjusting to the idea that she’ll be leaving home in a few months.  She’s done a lot of sleeping in and I’ve done a lot of nagging, and I thought I might possibly be well on my way to a stroke the day I came home from work and found her sunbathing in the front yard – with the TV blaring inside a house full of dirty laundry and dirtier dishes.

I also had my last day of work in the school lunchroom this week. Oh, sure, I’m planning on going back in the fall, but this was unexpectedly emotional. I didn’t expect the kids to hug me good-bye, and I certainly didn’t expect to miss any of them so soon.  Even more than that, I didn’t expect the ending of the school year to feel like the ending of a chapter in my life. This was my first real job since my accident, and it’s been all about finding the balance between pushing myself and knowing when to step back.

In a way, this job was a huge step toward understand who I am now and learning to thrive in my new “normal.” It was a step that was every bit as terrifying – and hard—as those first steps on the walker nearly four years ago. And I did it. I made it. I survived all the way to the end of the school year.

This was the week I interviewed for a second job to help me make my bills. It’s a front-desk position at a local hotel, and it would be a godsend. I did my best at the interview, but it’s hard to tell. I am supposed to hear something on Monday. Either way, it’s good to know my resume is good enough to get me an interview, and the interview itself was good experience for the next interview.

This was the week I finally conquered a really stupid fear and wrote my first real novel synopsis. That, in a nutshell, has been my biggest reason for self-publishing:  I was afraid of writing a synopsis to send to a traditional publisher. As much as I love self-publishing, I still want to explore my options with a traditional publisher, just to see what’s out there. So now I’ve done it and sent it out and I can check it off my “bucket list.”

Who knows – I may soon get my first real rejection letter and end up checking something else off the ol’ bucket list.

This week, I signed the lease on my house for another year. I had really expected to be able to buy it by this point, so it was a little disappointing. I love my house; I want to stay here forever. I just thought I’d be farther ahead by now. Money is trickling in too slowly and flowing out too quickly, and it hasn’t gotten any better this first year on my own.

The week ended with a two-day college orientation trip with my daughter and ex-husband. I hadn’t realized she was so grown-up until I saw her mingling with all of the other young adults on WMU’s campus, and I hadn’t realized just how ready she is to go. I’ve heard all the clichés about “spreading her wings” and all that nonsense, but I never really understood it until this moment. It’s almost time to let her go.

This week, I realized that I am not ready.

If we were having coffee, this is the point where I would break out the peanut butter cookies that I’m supposed to give to the neighbor who mowed my lawn. I’d top off our coffee cups and tell you to drink up before my kids wake up and invade the kitchen, because this is one of the few chances I’ll have to spend one-on-one time with another adult and I want to enjoy every minute of it.  And I think we need a little distraction, because I’m not quite ready to say anything more about my daughter moving out or the fact that I really enjoyed spending those two days with my ex.

Besides, I’ve been talking about myself this whole time, and now it’s your turn to tell me about your week. What have you been up to? What challenges have you faced and how did you deal with them?

Be sure to visit Diana over at Part-Time Monster to link up and see what some other bloggers have had to say with their weekly coffee share.  Thanks to Diana for hosting the #coffeeshare posts!

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8 thoughts on “Coffee Time

  1. What a lot you have going on!

    Little Jedi is only 6, and I’ve already begun to learn that we’re never ready for the new/next step our kids are taking. Wishing you and your daughter peace during this transition. 🙂

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  2. I wasn’t prepared when my firstborn daughter left for college. Actually, I had a complete meltdown, a tantrum in her dorm room. Sure, I look back on it now as a stress-related issue, but I’m ashamed I didn’t keep my cool. As mother’s we are expected to be the adult, even when our inner child comes creeping out and begins taking over our senses. When the second daughter left for school my mind was made up, I wasn’t going to allow it to affect me in the same way. This is when I threw myself into some serious food blogging.

    Now, about my past week. I’ve been actively juggling three concerns: tearing out dead flowers and shrubs killed by the rain event that hit the area (minor set-back), actively engaging myself in exercise classes for Seniors at my local rec center (and trying to accept that I really AM a senior), and most important of all, my son (in-laws) graduation this Friday from the State of California Highway Patrol Academy (I am so proud!).

    The juggling aspect comes into play as a coping device. If I distract myself with gardening and exercise I may just make it through the fear that creeps back into my mind when I think about my daughter and son (in-law), and the awesome challenges that await them. Yes, I have fallen victim to fear-mongering; there are simply some things that are difficult to deflect and worrying about the safety of our children, no matter what their ages, is one of them.

    So let’s have coffee. Please visit, we can compare our cup collections, neither of us will need sugar or milk since we both drink it black. If you want, while we’re looking over the cups we’ll see if we can locate the sugar bowl and creamer in the recesses of the cabinets. We’ll take them out and stare at them, try to gage from which era they came, and you can have them to take home as souvenirs. Seeing as I’m old now, it’s high time I did a bit of clutter-busting.

    Seriously, I think you’ve done a bang-up job of corralling the concerns in your life. Be proud! Life is not meant to be one big easy joy ride. We would never gain our wisdom if it were. We are all riding in this car together. Let’s enjoy the journey and forget about the destination. Some things are not ours to control.

    You, Sweets, are a wonderful writer.

    Never say never…

    ☕️

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve just made my day! But please — no more sugar bowls or creamers! I’ve got three lovely sets in the china cabinet already that I’m just too lazy to use! I need to do some clutter-busting as well.

      And you’re absolutely right: I need to kick back and “enjoy the journey” because I’ll never be in this exact same spot in my life again.

      Cheers!

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  3. What a time for you, finishing up your job and having your child graduate. This does end a chapter in your life and begin a new one. Best of luck as you begin this chapter, and enjoy this time before your child begins independent college life!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I will tell you a secret, when my youngest moved out I let out a huge sigh of relief and I touched the four walls. Yes, it was difficult but it was also liberating. Now, both my beautiful sons are grown men with children of their own, this too is liberating and joyful. You will find another balancing point, I promise.

    Coffee cups? My collection is so mismatched it is laughable, it really is since people have been finding them and giving them to me as gifts for years. I have them from ‘cute’ to downright mean. I love every single one of them for the memory of someone who loved me enough to remember my love of coffee. Go ahead look inside my cabinet and pick one you like!

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    • Ah, I know it will be hard when my kids move out, but I have a ten-year gap. I always tell people that my oldest will probably be moving back in with my grandchildren by the time my youngest grows up and moves out.

      Your coffee cup selection sounds a lot like mine. I have a cabinet full of them, but I always drink mine out of the same cup: a blue and white one with seagulls on it. If I have to drink my morning coffee out of the “wrong” cup, I feel as though my day has started out on the wrong foot!

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